Here is the story of how Andy and I met- as told by yours truly.
Whenever people ask us in person to tell the story, it’s always funnier when Andy and I tell it together.
So I thought I’d write the story for you, and have Andy do the commentary.
My writing is in black, just like this.
And Andy’s is in blue 🙂
This was a totally unedited process. I wrote out the whole story, and then he added his commentary after, and then upload!
I apologize for Andy’s profanities and humour in advance.
I had just finished first-year of University, and had spent the year trying to get through a break-up. I changed my hair a bunch of times, went on a few dates, and had a fling or two. But by the time summer came I had sworn off boys forever.
You know what they say, women in heartbreak love changing their hair color…(never understood this..Probably never will)
I remember school had just ended and I said to my best friend Emily, ‘I’m done with boys. I’m just going to have fun this summer.’
(Emily is a massive slut for the record- huge joke she’s the actually the best)
Little did I know, literally the DAY I uttered those words, that I would meet the loser I’d be dating for the next 5 years to come.
Prince charming walked into her life, magic does exist
It was our friends birthday party that night, and everyone from high school was going to be there.
I was super tanned (which was very important to me back then), I had hair down to my ass (which I now don’t have and am devastated about), and I felt pretty!
We got to the party, and my friend Chris introduced me to his new friend ‘Andy’.
I had remembered during the year, a bunch of our friends talking about this Andy character.
‘Omg Andy is so funny’
‘Omg have you met Andy? Coolest guy ever.’
So I mentally was able to put a name to a face and said,
‘Hi, I’m Sarah. Nice blue shorts’
He said, ‘lol what do you mean! They’re green!’
I couldn’t believe this 12/10 was talking to me honestly, my brain didn’t register what was happening.
And honestly, that was pretty much the end of our conversation.
It was such a quick introduction that Emily and I just kind of walked away and I didn’t walk to Andy for the rest of the party.
I turned to my friend Chris and asked him “dude…who the BALLS was that girl?? She is by far the hottest chick at this party!”. He then said oh yeah that’s Russo, meanwhile there is Raso (Emily’s last name) so I was confused in my mind and my pant region as well.
Here is the only pic of any from that night I could find:
About a month later, I was having a party for MY birthday.
It was the morning of the party and my friend Chris (who I mentioned before) called me and asked if he could bring his friend Andy to my party.
Dear Diary, Jackpot.
My response was classis:
(she totally knew was, just playing it cool)
Chris reminded me that Andy was the kid with the GREEN shorts from the last party and I told him Blue Shorts kid was more than welcome to come.
At my party me and Blue Shorts kid managed to talk a little more than our first meeting.
I was super intimidated like how was this sexy ass chick single AND funny? Something had to be seriously wrong..serial killer? Best to steer clear.
It wasn’t a long conversation, but I managed to get a good vibe of his hilarious sense of humour and his genuine nice-ness.
Here is a picture of us together (kind of) and my party:
But once again, nothing happened.
Kitchens always open
UNTIL. AND I REPEAT… UNTIL.
I know no one will ever believe me when I say this, but the night after my party I had a dream that me and Andy we’re dating.
It was now my duty to make dreams come true.
And keep in mind, at this point I’m having a dream about Blue Shorts kid.
Someone who I had talked to twice in my life.
And here I am having a dream about us dating?
I only have one witness to the incident.
She had slept over that night, and in the morning and I told her about my super weird and random dream.
She responded with,
‘LOL EWWW ANDY???’
Wow thanks Emily thought we were friends..
Keep in mind, this is 2012 and ‘ew’ doesn’t mean ‘gross’ it’s more of a ‘what the hell’, but that part is still funny to tell regardless.
So after I have this dream.
Andy and I practically go the whole summer not talking or seeing each other, aside from running into each other at a party or something.
It wasn’t until the end of the summer that shit started to go down.
Emily was having her annual, ‘End of Summer’ party in her backyard.
I was super nervous about the night, because my ex was going to be there—who I hadn’t talk to all year.
I just wanted to have a good time, and tried my best to do so.
At one point during the night, I saw Andy playing beer pong at the other end of the backyard.
Sarahs booty looked particularly plump this fine evening.
He had just gotten back from a vacation, and he was so unbelievably tanned (which remember, at this point was something very important to me lol…. Dear god)
See to this day the obsession with tanned people will never be understood yes Im looking at you raso.
So, I go over to talk to him.
And this is basically where it all started.
Here is a picture of us from that night we managed to take (and no Andy doesn’t not have the capability to be normal lol)
We were talking and joking around and all I remember thinking to myself is,
‘I could literally talk to this kid all day.’
He wasn’t flirty or overly-aggressive.
He was just genuinely nice.
(Playing the long game, not the Hail Mary type, sometimes you can just sense wifey material as it presents itself).
He asked my questions about my life, and made the funniest most ridiculous jokes.
He was the most tanned breath of fresh air I had ever had lol.
(again with the damn tanned thing…
That night I remember telling Emily I really liked Andy and thought he was awesome.
(I just went from six to midnight)
LITTLE DID I KNOW
THAT ANDY HAD LIKED ME THE WHOLE TIME.
THE WHOLE SUMMER.
Like is an understatement, I thought this woman was a goddess and I never even had a shot so didn’t even bother getting let down
And the second I told Emily my feelings, she immediately texted Andy and gave him my number???? (none of which I knew at the time)
This is what best friends do, wing woman. Thank you Raso. Sloot.
Now, I’ll keep this next part short.
He messaged me, and I messaged back…
and we messaged each other for about a month.
I loved talking to him, I got the vibe that he really liked talking to me.
She may be correct in this statement.
But nothing ever happened!
We just kept talking and talking—which don’t get me wrong, it was nice.
But I kept waiting for him to take it further than talking…but it never seemed to happen.
Over this month of texting we saw each other 3 times.
1. Had came to a birthday dinner at Jack Astors. We sat beside each other, and Chris Brown’s, ‘Don’t Wake me Up’ came on the tv’s. We bothed turn to each other and said ‘I LOVE THIS SONG’ (little did I know, this would end up being OUR SONG)
Its actually hilarious I tried so hard to get a seat beside this girl on purpose, the song was on the radio every 2 minutes and wasn’t some obscure coincidence haha I remember she was wearing a black leather jacket that night and smelled like pink sugar and unicorn mayonnaise.
2. I saw him at a club in our town, and kept drunkenly introducing him to my friends as ‘my husband’. But once again, he never tried anything. He danced off on his own, and at one point even encouraged me to flirt with another guy! IT WAS SO CONFUSING
If you love something, you gotta let it go, and if it comes back.. lol jk
3. I saw him again at another club in our town. He bought me a drink, and asked me for a kiss on the cheek. I went to kiss him on the cheek and he moved his face and kissed me on the mouth. (Yep. Our first kiss) But I had to leave early that night, and once again… nothing really happened.
I saw one of her friends later that night and sent her like 10 selfies just to make her mad she left so early.
Finally, after weeks and weeks of talking and getting to know each other…
I lost my patience and I called him.
He picked up the phone and I said 3 words.
‘We should date!’.
So aggressive eh?
He was so confused, caught off guard, and elated at the same time.
I was working out in the basement and literally jumped for joy…like picture Pavel Datsyuk Sniping a bar down hatrick in game 7 of the Stanley cup finals, multiply that by 20.34 and that’s the joy I felt.
At this point, I wasn’t even feeling nervous, I was just feeling fed up and wanting more than anything to go on a date with this kid.
He agreed a date would be a good idea.
A few days later, he picked me up in his Dad’s fancy car, took me to this favourite pizza restaurant, and then took me to a Waterfall where we sat on the bridge and talked until it got dark outside.
You know the expression “I have butterflies in my stomach”, well this was true, except each one of those butterflies had boners.
He never officially asked me that night…. but after that date I considered him mine, and no one else was allowed to go near him.
I feel trapped in a possessive relationship, plz help.. just kidding cheeks is great.
That’s basically dating right?
Love ya cheeks!
And here we are now.
Crazy how time flies.