I told my mom to take back the ring light.

Hey there.
This post is for those of you who have been reading my blogs for a while now.
thank you so much by the way.

For the ones who get my email notifications, for the ones who send me supportive messages, and ask me the most interesting questions.

Grab a coffee. Let’s chat.

If you’ve been following me lately, you’ll know I’ve been starting to make videos. I’ve done some make-up ones, some chatty ones, and mostly product ones.

I started doing this because I thought it was the right thing to do.

The ‘next step’ towards a successful internet career.

I got worried that people simply don’t like to read anymore, and videos would be the ‘blogs of the future’. I got worried I was behind.

So I started making videos.

And guys… I have been such a mess.

I wake up every single day telling myself I need to make a video, and the dialogue is exhausting.

‘What should I film about today? What will people give a shit about? What do they want me to talk about?’
‘The lighting is awful today, how am I going to film?’
‘Omg, my skin looks so bad today I can’t make a video’.

It would happen every day.
I would go to my full time job, work as hard as I could, and then once 5pm hit, the overwhelming stress hit me that I needed to be working on my blog or else it would vanish into internet oblivion and no one would care anymore.

Well, a realization hit me today. And I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

I don’t enjoy making videos.
Simple as that.
They stress me out, they cause me to be extremely critical of myself, and they prevent me from actually enjoying what’s in front of me.

Why am I forcing myself to do something that causes me so much stress?

Also, if you’ve been around for a while. You’ll notice a lot of my blogs have been about products lately.

If you like them, I’m glad I could share that with you.

If you’re wondering why it keeps happening—I’m really sorry.

This was another thing I thought people wanted to read, but it wasn’t what I wanted to share.

I recently posted a blog that came from the heart, and it was something I was really proud of.
(which is a feeling I’ve been lacking lately)

It spread in a way I never thought it would. And it really got me thinking.

I started this blog because I love to write, and I wanted to take everything that was in my head, and put it to good use.

I’ve lost that part of myself lately, and for that, I apologize.

Maybe I’m just apologizing to myself for not doing what I love.

Either way my thoughts are here.
For you to read, right now.

My mom ordered me a ring light for Christmas, and I asked her to take it back.

Videos are not for me.

I’m keeping my camera, and I’d like to think I’ll always have my creativity.
So if a time comes where I want to film, and I want to capture my memories…

I’ll be sure to share it here.
But only if it really makes me happy.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that 2017 has been a very interesting year for me.

I spent this year on a quest for perfection.
I wanted to be important, I wanted to be successful, and I thought I had the formula to make it happen.

I tried things out, I took a path I thought I was supposed to take and I got lost along the way.

I love to write, and that’s why this corner of the internet exists.
I got so caught up in wanting people to see it, that I started to create something that I really wouldn’t want people to see anyways… even if they did manage to stumble on by.

Are you still here?
Hey. Thanks for staying.

I’m not going to stop blogging, but things are going to change around here.

I spent this year on a quest for perfection, but instead, on this day… December 5th 2017..

I think I actually found myself.

And I’d like to share that will all of you.

I’d like to share my thoughts, creativity, and my imagination with you.

And maybe just a LITTLE less of what I buy, and what I put on my face.

I don’t know how it’s going to turn out, but at least I’ll be doing what I love.

So I’d like to end this blog with how it all started.

I’m The Blonde Wednesday Addams, Sarah for short.
Welcome to the madness.

A website that represents my brain– an overwhelming sense of passion, but a girl who really hasn’t figured it out.

Be confused with me.

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