I quit my job.
I think typically in these situations, you quit a job because you have something better lined up.
You quit looking for the Chamber of Secrets because the Tri-Wizard Tournament is clearly more important.
You put in your two weeks notice, because two weeks from now, you`ll be at a new job with new opportunities and new experiences, and Cedric Diggory.
That is definitely NOT the case with me.
It all started with my skin.
This doesn`t make sense… but I promise you it will.
Brutal acne started to pop up in different locations of my face.
First my chin.
Then my forehead.
Then my cheeks.
Everyday it was something different.
I would wake up and say, ‘Ok GREAT, where did Skin Hitler declare war on my face TODAY??’
All my life I`ve been pretty acne prone. So acne was never necessarily NEW to me.
But whenever I used to get it, it would happen in the same places.
Chin.. around the mouth… sometimes a few on my forehead.
But lately, each day I would wake up with worse and worse skin… everywhere.
It wasn`t until today that I realized it was because of my job.
Okay.. you`re lost.
Let me explain.
My job was so busy, and so filled with work and stress I didn`t realize how over-worked I actually was.
My boss was mean. My hard work was not being acknowledged.
I was working my ass off and putting so much care and effort into a company that really didn`t care about me.
For professional purposes we’ll leave it at that.
And to make matters worse- I wasn`t doing what I love, or what I know I`m good at, or even anything remotely in my field of interest.
So what do you think in your head at this point?
‘It’s a job- stop being a baby and just get the experience’
‘Every job is going to be hard, suck it up, it will get easier eventually’
‘It’s very rare to find a job in your field right out of school’
and those things went through my head for a long time.
So I continued to work.
But every day when I got home I would apply to jobs.
Anywhere and Everywhere.
Not hearing from anyone.
And why would I?
When you’re in Marketing or Advertising or Public Relations..
A simple cover letter won’t cut it anymore.
Companies are looking for creativity, passion, and IDEAS.
Well, by the time I got home from work and by the time I made myself dinner- it was bed time.
And my idea bank was EMPTY.
Along with the passion bank, and the creativity bank.
Out of business.
Am I making excuses? Sure.
But I would still apply.
So I continued to work and work away.
It wasn’t until one day I got home from work, and jumped in the shower.
It was an emotional day at my job, and so I may have gotten a little teary-eyed in the shower.
And by teary, I may have meant crying.
And by crying I may have meant total sobbing, ugly face, hyperventilating, Moaning Myrtle style crying.
When I was done, I got out of the shower and went downstairs.
My dad was in the kitchen making food, and then looked at me.
He grabbed my face (which was probably extremely red, acne ridden, and I had some gnarly dark circles under my eyes)
And he says ‘what is going on??’
And I replied ‘stress dad’.
So he told me to come and talk to him and my mom about it. (what a gem)
And I basically explained the issues I was having at my job, how it was making me unhappy, and how it was starting to affect my health.
I was having trouble sleeping, I was getting sick often, I was never happy.
If you’ve read my previous blogs, you know that my parents were very pro ‘keep your job- you need the money’
And you would also know that I’m a pretty obedient child.
Well in this moment as I was talking to my parents.
I realized what I wanted.
And sitting in front of my parents, crying about how much I hate my life was NOT it.
So I took a pause.
And I told them I’m quitting.
My mom started to freak out.
But my dad said ‘It’s Okay- we trust you’.
And that’s all I needed- I felt like a bagillion pound weight fly off my chest.
And so now I’m here.
Yesterday was my last day.
And now I’m sitting in my bed at 9:43 on a WEDNESDAY, writing.
I am 22 years old.
The kind of stress I was dealing with was something I might be willing to deal with in my later life. But not now.
I’m still young. I’m still trying to figure it all out.
And the last thing I should feel at this age is stuck.
Especially stuck at a job that made me miserable.
So I guess this is my sequel to my last dramatic blog.
I quit, and I’m happy.
At least for now.
I still have my other jobs to keep me above water, for the time being.
I don’t think I would have quit if I didn’t have those.
I guess what I’m trying to say, is that I don’t have proof that everything is going to be okay. But for some reason… I just know it will be.
I am convinced 22 is the worst age. There is so much pressure to be successful, but there is also so much pressure to still be a kid.
Where do you fit when you are fresh, but you have no experience?
Where do you fit when you’re not ready to be an adult, but you’re done being a kid?
Well, I don’t think there is a need to fit anywhere.
But I think there is a need to be happy.
We have our whole lives to stress out, be miserable, and work our asses off.
For now, I’m just making decisions and hoping they work out.
Look at it this way:
JK Rowling was Broke
Oprah had just been fired as a TV reporter
Tina Fey was working at the YMCA
And Walt Disney had just declared Bankruptcy.
We are going to be okay.
So right now, I’m sitting in bed. At 10:05, writing about how I’m happy with life now.
And my skin is clear.
I’m starting to think my skin represents my brain.
And for now, my brain is clear.
Hopefully all this extra time will mean more blog content, more stories, more adventures, and possibly more happiness?
I don’t know what the EFF I’m going to do with my life.
But I know the next time I’m in an interview and they ask me ‘Where do you see yourself in 5 years?’
I’m going to reply..